Anthony Neil Smith: 2012

MY BAD

I woke up yesterday to find out about Trestle Press getting into a lot of trouble over cover art obtained without the artist's permission. So regardless of the fact that I was almost 100% percent certain my e-book cover art--which I either designed on my own, hired a designer for, or let my publisher do all the voodoo magic for it--was on the up and up, my anxiety thermometer fired up until the mercury was shooting out because that's what I do.

Anyway, I'm glad I checked. I made a silly mistake on the Psychosomatic e-cover, and I'm going to own up to it and hopefully fix it.

I worked with a designer on the cover (I won't name him here unless he later tells me he's okay with it), but I still helped out with choosing photos. While the two guys on the cover were stock, as far as I know, I also believed the image of the nurse was a stock photo, too. I believe I tried to write the artist at the time (her email is in my gmail files) but was not able to get in touch. I've always gotten permission in the past for photos I've used for Plots with Guns.  But since it was my understanding that the photo was a stock photo, I thought it was okay to use.

In double-checking yesterday, I finally found it again and discovered I'd misunderstood what "stock" mean in this case. It was one of the Creative Commons photos, meaning I needed to attribute it to the artist, and that I couldn't use it for commercial use. Well, I'd messed up on both counts. And I feel pretty shitty about it.

As for the other image on the cover--the amputee--I have no idea where that one came from.

So I contacted the designer, apologized for this crap, and asked him to start working on a new cover featuring only images we have permission to use. I also contacted the artist for the original print version of the novel (JT Lindroos, who also designed my All the Young Warriors cover) and asked if I could temporarily use that for the e-book instead. He agreed, and so I've just now uploaded that version to the Kindle store (I think it might take a day to change).

And I'm also going to try once again to get in contact with the artist, explain what happened, and offer some compensation from the copies already sold.

I'm glad to have learned more about how this all works. I can only say it was a rookie mistake and I'm working to rectify it as we speak. 

The Wrong Kind of Reading: Chicago, March 1st

Take a gander:

(posted designed by C. Gowran)

Very excited to be a part of this. And you've got a wide variety of styles here. If you're in town for AWP or you just happen to be close enough, check out The Galway Arms in Lincoln Park, voted one of the Best Bars in Chicago.

But I'm always a little uncomfortable at AWP (the Associated Writing Programs annual conference), even as Director of Creative Writing for the undergrad program at Southwest Minnesota State. I've been teaching creative writing for over a decade now, and I love to try new things and find new ways to engage the classes. And yet I always feel a bit of an outsider at AWP. A lot of "hipster douchebaggery" going on, a lot of people who think they're being "unique" end up being very much like hundreds of others there. But at least it spans the spectrum--from young hippie snobs to accomplished, academic hippie snobs (I say it with love, people). And while gene writers who are also academics in writing programs are gaining more and more headway into AWP every year (unlike the first year I was on a genre panel, when a poet walked out in "protest" over the very subject being brought up), I still think the majority of attendees find it "cute" that we're given a little corner to play in, although the genre panels are consistently the ones bringing in the biggest audiences. 

I mean, no offense, but just check out some of these panels and ask yourself 1) would I really want to spend an hour talking about that? and 2) what the hell is [Insert Panel Title Here] even supposed to mean?

I dunno. Maybe it's just me. I don't belong in trendy bars where everyone is wearing ironic t-shirts or all-black clothing carrying around barely stitched together messenger bags. But I do belong at AWP, as do all of my fellow readers at Wrong Kind, as do a whole lot of others who feel just as uncomfortable at AWP as I do. I'm feeling better, actually. Every year, it feels more like my sort of place. Which is weird, too, because this will be my last time for at least a handful of years to attend as a program director (I've been elected Chair of the English Department for this coming Fall), which has been cool because I've gotten to attend the yearly Director's meeting and sit next to Tod Goldberg making jokes at the expense of all the seriousness on the stage. Ah, memories. 

And don't even get me started on how out of place I still feels at Bouchercon...

See you at The Galway Arms!

In case you're keeping track at home, I'm 31,000 words into the first draft of Lafitte #3. Feels like a halfway point, or just about, but I never can tell.

So How'd All That Go, Then?

Now that the rankings are falling and we're in the final hours of Psychosomatic's 2-day free run on Amazon, how's all that work out, right? You're wondering, eh?

It was a lot of fun, and I hope all the new readers enjoy the book. We were pretty close to cracking the top 100 on Amazon UK, but just missed. The American store got us up to the #300s, but no more. But talking sheer numbers, well, we had over 1100 downloads in the US and over 300 in the UK. Just 2 days. So I'll take that as a good thing.

Especially happy-making is the run up the hard-boiled lists to #2 in the UK and #4 in the US. Sweet. 

I think I'll do that again for Psychosomatic soon. Another 2-day run. But when? We'll see.

Okay, back to work on Lafitte #3.

[Update #3] PSYCHOSOMATIC FREE ON SATURDAY & SUNDAY

[Update #3 at 10:49 AM: Now it's Sunday, the last day of this free book thingie, and things are still on the upswing. In the UK, we're now at #184 overall (#2 on hard-boiled, still), and we've had 100 downloads overnight! So if there's anyone you know out there in UK Kindle land who doesn't know, please point them our way. In the US, Psychosomatic is now at #355 overall in the Free store, and #4 on the hard-boiled list. And it's rising on the the Contemporary Fiction list at #20! MOMENTUM is the key. It's all down to discovery. People need to find it. I'm telling you, it's a lot of fun doing this, finding new readers and always pushing to see how far we can go. But only one day left! Huge thanks to all of you out there supporting me. Without you, I'm just a cranky cult writer with terrible bed head.]

It's cold outside. It's crazy. And there's yet another free Kindle novel out there, tempting you...

Here's why you'll want Psychosomatic: it takes place in the sunshine. Yep. And it's batshit crazy.

My first novel takes you down to the sun-blasted Mississippi Gulf Coast, and even though you've got the beautiful weather to keep you cozy, things really heat up when you meet the characters, none of them heroes. All of them dirty.

On Saturday and Sunday, January 21 and 22, Psychosomatic will be free for Kindle users as a thanks for all of those people who have been snapping up my other novels over the past year. If you haven't gone back to where it all started for me, here's your chance. 

I wrote a short story that was picked up by Blue Murder Magazine, an online innovator for crime zines, that ended up becoming the first chapter of PSY (as I call it). It was inspired by a night out during grad school where Victor Gischler, a couple of other friends, and me were barhopping. At one point, Gischler was drinking martinis, and he grabbed a pen and a bar napkin, scratched something down, and passed it across to one of our friends.

"There," he said. "That's the first line of your next story."

Our friend didn't want it. Wasn't his sort of deal. So Victor pushed it across to me:

Because Lydia didn't have arms or legs, she shelled out three thousand bucks to a washed up middleweight named Cap to give her ex-husband the beating of his life.

Sure, why not? I could do that. So I pocketed the napkin and we moved on to the next bar.

As soon as I got back home, I smooth the napkin on my desk, typed that line in...and then wrote the first paragraph. Easy. Then I went to bed.

At some point that night, a spider bit me on the ear. That turned kind of nasty.

But later I finished the story, showed it to Gischler, and he was surprised I'd been able to pull it off. He loved it. So I mailed it to a few magazines, and Blue Murder said "Yes".

Later I wrote a couple of other stories featuring two other characters from that story (a couple of con men named Terry and Lancaster) and published those.

Wheels began to turn. 

I had a novel.

And a year later, so I did.

Published in 2005 by PointBlank Press, it helped me get a foothold in this crazy world of publishing, getting a cult reputation as people began reading. At the end of 2010, I decided to revert the rights in order to try it out on Kindle. And I'm glad I did, as it's found a brand new audience. 

For the next two days, give it a go. I call it my "noir cartoon" because it's just that nuts. The sort of thing I like to call "gonzo noir".  

 Now, I know that people immediately flock to free books on Kindle, so that's cool. But I'm asking, if you're reading this via Twitter or Facebook, you to help me make a couple of big pushes. If you can, spread the word that I would love to see, on both days, as many people buy it during the 8 AM hour as possible. And once more during the 8 PM hour. Pick one. All I'm saying is that I want to attract new readers, and to do that, it helps to get it in front of as many folks as possible. To do that, it takes a lot of people picking it up at the same time to drive the rank up. Easy, right?

Do that, and I will thank you.

Oh, and for the freeness of it: You're welcome, cheapskates.

E-BOOK SALES TIPS!!!

We're all looking for that "golden bullet". What's going to propel us to the top of the e-book sales charts on Amazon or USA Today or, in Rector's case, the Wall Street Fucking Journal? Are there strategies that some of the bestselling e-book authors hide from the rest of us? Is it possible they're just smarter than us?

I decided to pry a few secrets loose from some hot indie authors by asking what tips they have for those of use looking to boost our e-books sales.

Fiona "McDroll" Johnson, author of Kick It and Kick It Again: "Wear your children's baby teeth as a charm necklace and dance naked on the first of each month under the light of the moon whilst singing 'I am Who I am...' But teeth from any child will do, doesn't need to be a blood relation."

Harry Shannon, author of The Hungry and CLAN: "Pay three uninformed consultants the rent money to hastily arrange an extensive blog tour in Poland."

Heath Lawrence, author of The Bastard Hand and Miles to Little Ridge: "One sure-fire course of action to sell more books is the simple but too-often dismissed approach of making a Faustian bargain with the Debel. 'Too old-fashioned,' some writers say. 'Satanic influence is so 20th Century.' Those people shouldn't be so flippant about the good ole' ways. But be very certain that you've got the ACTUAL Debel and not one of his unholy minions. The first time I tried it was a total failure, and I wound up with Michelle Bachmann instead. That book didn't sell shit."

Paul D. Brazill, author of Drunk on the Moon and Brit Grit: "Bunga Bunga Parties. Oh, and also, the Thai ping pong ball trick with a live grenade."

Dave White, author of Witness to Death: "Ignore Twitter unless you have sacrificed a chicken first."

Allan Guthrie, author of Bye Bye Baby and Two-Way Split and more, and publisher/co-founder of Blasted Heath: "Once you find someone who likes your book, make sure you pound that person with repeated blasts of 'Buy my book, it's only six cents'. There's nothing to be gained from looking further afield: after all, other people might not like your book so why take the chance? You'll only depress yourself. Look, if you're very unlucky, other readers might hear about your book and might even buy it, and then, God forbid, they might review it and it will almost certainly be a terrible review because they're not your one true reader. If you're serious about writing, focus on your core audience. The smaller the core, the better. One reader is ideal. Work on that relationship and don't stop until you're both living in the same house. At that point, you might want to start on your next book."

Emerson LaSalle, author of over 400 pulp novels, plus the short story "Harry Truman Vs. The Aliens": "After I slather olive oil on my Kindle, I set it in a tree in my neighbor's yard and let the squirrels figure out a new marketing campaign. Also...what the hell is a Kindle?"

There you have it. I am trying them all at once as I type this. I look ridiculous, but by noon I'll be so fucking rich...

THE MONEYBALL ANGLE

So I don't like baseball. Just dull. Grew up in a football and basketball household. 

Anyway...

I rented Moneyball because, well...I don't know. Maybe because it sounded nerdy or something. The idea of piecing together a team from the scraps of other teams, that's cool. I also like the idea of the "undervalued" player. And yeah, the whole movie worked for me. It was pretty cool. Mainly because it wasn't really about baseball.

It took a scene near the end to really hit me, one in which the owner of the Red Sox tells Billy that everyone in the baseball world says this new "moneyball" system doesn't work because the truth of it all is that they're scared. Scared of change. Scared that everything they've ever known won't mean anything in this new world. Scared of losing their jobs.

Maybe it sounds a lot like what's going on in publishing right now with the e-book surge. Maybe.

Anyway, it was a great scene.

A Few Thoughts on the New Van Halen Video/Song "Tattoo"

First, here's what we're talking about: the awful video.

Okay. Look, I've been a huge Van Halen fans since I was about thirteen years old. I loved both Dave and Sammy. And I've hung on waiting for some sort of new music for a long time now. Hoping beyond hope they would blow us all away, like they did when they tried to reunite with Dave the first time. That is a great tune.

However, they've been really kind of rude to their fans over the past several years (not showing up at the R&R Hall of Fame, never updating their website, kicking out Michael Anthony so that Ed's son could join the band (What the fuck?)), but we always hang on hoping the new music would be there to prove that we all owed them a huge apology.

Then...well, then "Tattoo" arrives...and it sucks.

Dave's lyrics? Terrible. Just...bizarre. Half sex, half mystic dragons, and even something about fighting for unions. What? And the singing sounds off. Then he does the half-talking bit. I give up. I can't even make it to the guitar solo on a second listen.

The video: did this cost (excluding the cost of the camera) four dollars? And thanks for dressing up like a rock star for your big debut, Wolf.

The most unintentionally funny and yet telling part of the video? They sometimes get the women working the cameras in the shot, and one of them stops filming for a minute, right on stage in the middle of it all. Plus, someone's DOG is sitting on stage. And even better, there are several shots of people standing around right off-stage with their arms crossed, looking unimpressed. I mean, they're watching Van fucking Halen with David Lee Roth make their first video in umpteen years, and they look like they could give a shit. Wow.

Sorry guys. You don't need my approval or money and could give a rat's ass about me at all, but it's just a personal let-down. A small thing. One of my favorite bands can't pull it together to stage an awesome comeback. Maybe some songs on the overall album (with the awful title A Different Kind of Truth, which sounds like some sort of self-help book for compulsive liars) will kick ass and I'll be pleased again, but ight now this is a huge stumble out of the gate, seems to me.

My advice to Wolf Van Halen: quit your dad's band and go show us what you can really do with your own group, and tell pop to hire Michael Anthony again.

And what the hell is this? Did the record company guy let his ninth-grade son doodle the single's
artwork on his notebook?

Okay, it's 10PM, and the offer is closed. Thanks to those who joined Lafitte For Life today! More pop-ups to come in the coming months.

UPDATE #2: Pop-Up Offer Re-Do: Lafitte For Life Club

[UPDATE: One more time! From 8PM-10PM Central Time tonight, buy YELLOW MEDICINE and join the Lafitte For Life Club. And follow me on twitter (@docnoir) for more pop-ups!]

So i've heard about these pop-up restaurants and bookstores--chefs and booksellers taking over an empty space for a few hours, or days, or weeks, spreading the words, then dismantling it all to start over somewhere else with a new name, new idea, etc.

Cool.

How about I try that with some e-book offers? I'm always looking for ways to spread the word about my books so new readers can find them. Here's what I'm going to try--occasional pop-ups offering something special.

For example, POP-UP #1 is a special offer to join the Lafitte For Life club. If you buy a copy of Yellow Medicine for either Kindle or Nook from 8PM until 10PM central time tonight, I will send you for free:

> The second Lafitte novel, Hogdoggin', as an e-book in the format you specify (epub or Kindle)
> The third (as yet unfinished) Lafitte novel right before it goes on sale
> Signed print copies (originally from Bleak House Books) of both Yellow Medicine and Hogdoggin' in either hardcover or paperback 
> Any future Lafitte novels, stories, or novellas before they go on sale

Tempting? All it takes is the first one, and then you'll be on board for life. Give it a go. And I might do it again for a couple of hours later tonight, too.

Send me the receipt at: a DOT neil DOT smith AT gmail DOT com

Tick tock...